My name is Alexander Morales. I’m 18 years old and I live in Sampaloc, Manila. I’m a Fine Arts student in Parker University, one of the prestigious coed universities in Pasay. There’s nothing much to say about me. I guess I’m one of those people who you will see as an easy going, happy-go-lucky and harmless punk. A stud who is constantly being chased by girls in school. An athlete who only cares about winning. A son who just wants to make his parents proud. Perhaps you think you know me because of my reputation in school and the senseless rumors about me. You think you know me, but you don’t have any idea about me. No one really knows me. No, that’s not right. There’s someone who knew me very well. Her name is Daphne Reyes and she was my best friend.
I’m passionately, obsessively and madly in love with Daphne. All I’ve been thinking about was to have her all to myself. I would do everything to get her. I didn’t care if my conscience would bother me. What I did to her was wrong and unforgivable. Even I would never forgive myself for this. No one would think I would do it. Even I couldn’t believe I did it to her. For God’s sake, she’s my best friend since 6th grade! We had been very good friends.
But I did something wrong to my best friend.
I raped Daphne Reyes on March 26, 2009.
Before I tell you how I committed the heinous crime, let me tell you about Daphne.
She was an immensely beautiful girl. But she hid her beauty in the baggy clothes she used to wear. She had an angelic face, long shiny hair, fair skin and a petite figure. She would have looked like a TV actress if only she wore nice clothes.
Daphne was my classmate in the 6th grade. She was a new student, I was an old student. She sat at the back of the classroom; I sat just in front of her. She was very shy and quiet. During break time I decided to talk to her so she would have a friend.
The sun was shining in a blue sky, gilding the grasses, trees and flowers of the courtyard. Teachers and students were milling around the courtyard. Daphne was alone sitting under a tree reading a Kurt Vonnegut novel.
“Hello Daphne,” I said. “I’m Alexander.”
“Hi Alexander,” she said. We shook hands.
“That looks like an interesting book. Can you tell me something about it?”
She told me the synopsis of the novel, without spoiling it for me. She was a good storyteller and I could tell that she was bright. But what really caught my eye was how her eyes shone and her face looked lively as she talked to me about the book. She looked like that when she talked about something she really liked. I couldn’t help but admire her radiant skin as the sun shone on it. I knew from the start that I was attracted to her. But Daphne was someone I just met.
As we talked, I learned a lot of things about her in a short span of time.
She just turned twelve that June (her birthday was on June 4, we were of the same age). She came from an all-girls school. Her father is the owner of a computer shop and her mother is a seamstress. She only had one sibling who was a 10-year-old boy. She lived in Las Pinas. She transferred in my school because her parents couldn’t afford the high tuition fee of the all-girls school. Her little brother was studying in another coed school near their house.
She loved music so much. She could sing and play a guitar. Her taste in music was eclectic. She enjoyed all types of music like rock, jazz, rhythm and blues, hip hop, trance, techno and house. But her favorite type of music was rock. I also like music. We listened to the same bands like Linkin Park, Limp Bizkit, A Perfect Circle, Tool, Deftones, U2, Muse, System of a Down, and Red Hot Chili Peppers. We talked about those bands during the break time and dismissal time. We clicked instantly. We started hanging out since that day.
As we got to know each other we learned about our other similarities and differences. We both loved music, but she was really into it. Music was her life – it gave her solace in dark times. I only listen and dance to music to be entertained. We both loved reading novels. But she’s a faster reader than me. She could finish a tome in one sitting. I could finish a book in three days. We both loved video games, but she was a better gamer than me. She could beat me in any game, whether it’s a violent mature game or a kiddie game. She was kind of a lone wolf; I have a lot of friends in school. Actually, everybody in school liked me, so I could say that I could get along with anyone. We both loved to go to rock concerts and gigs. I like sports like badminton and tennis; she didn’t like sports. She liked sweets; I don’t like them because they make me fat (I like maintaining my athletic body because I want to always look good.)
I introduced her to my friends. They were athletes, campus crushes and geeks. Daphne tried to get along with all of them. But naturally, she only got along with the geeks. Her new friends were Kathryn and Julio. Kathryn is a Cosplayer, while Julio is a gamer. We hanged out most of the time with those geeks. Daphne and Kathryn joined Cosplay competitions and I simply watched and supported them because I didn’t like to join them in those competitions. Daphne only dressed up in Cosplay competitions. She really looked cute and adorable in those outfits she wore. She looked kawaii. We played various video games on Julio’s Playstation. My favorite games were Mortal Kombat, Tekken, and Marvel vs Capcom. Daphne didn’t like my other friends (Daphne referred to them as the “popular crowd”) so I didn’t bring her when I was with them. My teammates and the campus crushes usually asked me, “Where’s your girlfriend?” I laughed at them and told them Daphne was busy studying at home. My friends always thought Daphne and I were an item.
One time I had a fight I can never forget. I was with my athlete friends Matt and Christian. Matt was a point guard in the basketball team, while Christian was a member of the Taekwondo team. We were playing billiards in a bar just a few blocks from the school. We decided to play after the midterm exams were over, so we could have a good time and forget about our midterm exams for just a while. It was midnight and the bar was noisy and full of the stench of beer and smoke. Matt had one attractive girl on each muscular arm, while Christian was smoking a cigarette as he waited for his turn to play. I hit the first ball.
“Where’s your girlfriend?” asked Matt.
“You mean Daphne?” I said. “She’s not my girlfriend. She’s not interested in billiards that’s why she didn’t go with me.” He hit the second ball.
“You know she’s really pretty,” said Matt. Christian tried to hit the third ball, but he failed. It was my turn again. “If she dresses up, she will look like a total babe.” I couldn’t understand why Matt would say things like that with those girls around. He could make each of those attractive girls pea green with envy.
I hit the fourth ball.
“Yeah I know she is pretty.”
“And I know that you like her. Why don’t you ask her out?”
We continued playing.
“It’s not that simple. She likes another guy.”
“Oh that’s a bummer.” Matt snickered. I smiled weakly.
“If I were you, I’d take her to my house, buy her a drink and make sure she’s drunk until she can’t walk. Then I’d carry her drunk ass in my room and we’d fuck in the dark.”
I stopped playing and punched Matt’s ugly face. His face got bruised. And because Matt was stronger than me, he beat me up with his punches and kicks until I saw stars. As Christian and other people from the bar were trying to stop us from hurting each other, Matt said, “Putang ina mo, bakla ka kasi kaya ka ganyan!” (“Your mother is a whore. You’re probably gay that’s why you can’t do it!”)
“Gago, wala kang respeto sa babae! Kaibigan ko yun!” (“You’re a fool! You don’t have respect for women. Daphne is my friend!”)
Matt spat on the ground. His girlfriends (or whatever they were) were trying to calm him down.
The next thing I knew my mother was treating my bruises with ice covered with towel as soon as Christian took me home. My mother asked me what happened. Christian answered her question.
“Loko yung Matt na yun ah,“ said my mom. “Walang respeto sa babae.” (“Matt was an idiot. He has no respect for women.”) Don’t hang out with him anymore. He’s a bad influence.”
When Daphne saw my bruises, she was shocked and worried. She asked me how I got them. I only told her half the truth. I told her Matt and I fought over a girl with both liked.
“Matt is such a loser,” she said. “Oh my, now that you don’t look so handsome girls will stop checking you out and chasing you for a week or two. You should thank your bruises.”
“Yes, it’s kind of difficult to appreciate a handsome face with all those bruises.” She beamed.
I laughed. I always laughed when she teased me.
A few weeks before the incident in the bar, Daphne told me that she had a crush in school.
“Is it me?” I joked. Daphne punched my arm in a friendly manner. “Ow!” I said.
“It’s Lance.” Oh great, she had a crush on one of the best looking guys in school. That guy looked better than me.
“Do you know him?”
“Of course, it’s Lance. The captain of the basketball team.”
“Does he have a girlfriend?”
“Sorry, but I don’t know. But you know what? I can make him notice you.”
“How?” asked my best friend. I touched her hair to fix it. Suddenly, she guessed what I was about to suggest. She smiled excitedly even before I spoke. I smiled, too.
Of course because I’m a guy, I had a little knowledge about girls’ fashion and makeup. So I let the expert to help my best friend in her situation. My gay friend Chris fixed Daphne’s hair and made her up. Then he taught her how to style her hair with a flat iron and a brush, and to use makeup. I bought her beautiful dresses, shoes and accessories. Daphne gasped when she saw the things I bought for her.
“Wow, these are too much!” exclaimed Daphne.
“These stuff will make you feel beautiful,” I said. “Because you are already beautiful. You just don’t know it.” She really looked beautiful when she got dolled up.
Daphne blushed and looked away from me. “Thank you for buying these stuff for me. I appreciate it.” She hugged me.
“Don’t mention it.” I hugged her back.
Since then, Daphne wore natural makeup and nice dresses every time she went to school. Then she made small talks with Lance. Eventually, they got close and their conversations got deep and meaningful. They talked about art, science and life. They exchanged numbers and then texted every night after school. I felt like I suddenly lost my best friend. She got a new best friend.
Daphne and Lance hanged out together in every part of the school. I saw them in the corridors, the canteen, the locker hall, the courtyard, and other places. They looked sweet to each other staring into each other’s eyes, laughing together and holding hands. I let her have beautiful moments with him. I wanted to make her happy all the time. Lance was her crush after all. Who wouldn’t be happy with their crush?
I’d be a fool if I told you I wasn’t sad. No, that wasn’t right. To say I was sad was an understatement. I was down and brokenhearted. But I just busied myself with extracurricular activities like sports and painting just to get her off my mind. I hanged out with my varsity and cheerleader friends (also known as the “popular crowd” as Daphne would call them). So every day it was school, sports, art, and clubbing. It was like a cycle that went on and on. I was surrounded with friends, but my life was empty. I missed Daphne so much.
Several months passed. One lazy afternoon, I was playing Playstation at home. The doorbell rang. I paused the game and opened the wood door and the green gate. It was Daphne. She was crying.
We sat in a white sofa in front of a glass table of the living room.
“Why are you crying?” I asked her.
“I saw Lance kissing a girl in a coffee shop.” She was crying heaps. I tried to calm her down, but she kept sobbing.
“Don’t worry, you’ll find a better guy than him.”
I let her cry on my shoulder and hugged her in a friendly manner. She still looked beautiful even when she cried.
“But I don’t want to find a better guy. I just want him.” She complained like a child. But I couldn’t blame her. We were teenagers back then.
“You need to forget about him because obviously he has forgotten about you. He has moved on. Okay?” I almost yelled at her.
She continued crying. “It’s so much easier said than done. What if this were happening to you? Oh, I know it doesn’t happen to you! You never knew what it felt like because you never had problems with girls!”
“That is not true, Daphne.”
“It’s true! Girls chase after you. You have dated them but you never took any one of them seriously.”
“But that’s not the point. My point is you should forget about him no matter how hard it is. You are such a beautiful girl. He is just an ass. He doesn’t deserve you.”
“You were right,” she said in between sobs.
“Look, I have an idea. Let’s go to 7/11.”
We went to 7/11. I bought her lots of ice creams with different flavors. As soon as we got inside my place, we ate them all until we were stuffed.
Daphne was licking a chocolate ice cream. “This is so delicious!” She exclaimed. She finished Cookies and Cream, Banoffee Pie, Blueberry Cheesecake, Capucinno, Mango Graham and Oreo. I ate S’mores and Sea Salt Caramel.
“You are the sweetest guy I know,” she said. She kissed and hugged me in the sofa.
What we did didn’t save the problem Daphne had at the time. She didn’t forget Lance in an instant. But at least, I made her happy for a little while.
Fast forward to high school, Daphne and I became lovers. I courted her for almost a year. I drew portraits of her, wrote her poems, and gave her flowers and sweets at her house. Sometimes I would place it inside her locker in school. She had rejected me a lot of times. She said she didn’t want me to be her boyfriend because I was her best friend. But I continued to pursue her until she forgot all about her first love, Lance. When she forgot all about him and got tired of being lonely, she finally said her sweet yes to me. I was the happiest and luckiest lad on earth.
We had so much fun as lovers. We had candlelit dinners in reasonably priced restaurants. We had picnics in our favorite park near our school. We also went to that park at night to gaze at the stars, while holding each other’s hands. We went to the gigs and concerts of our favorite local and international rock bands. We went to museums and libraries. We rode bikes around town. We went to coffee shops and tried delicious coffees and pastries. We played video games together at my place (because I was the only one who had video games at home). We watched movies either at my house or hers, on a couch while cuddling each other. We cooked for each other scrumptious meals (she was a better cook than I am. Her specialty was spaghetti. I loved eating her spaghetti). We went to malls and bought each other gifts. We hiked in mountains. We swam at beautiful beaches. We worked out in a gym at our favorite mall (we went to yoga classes together). We also played badminton in another gym.
When we weren’t outside, she would teach me how to play a guitar in her house and I would teach her how to draw nature and landscapes in my house. We made love a lot of times in my house when my parents were away. I drew her naked. Daphne looked madly beautiful when she’s naked. Her body was delicately slender. Her skin was fair and flawless.
Our relationship was steady even after high school. When we were in college, we still saw each other. We visited each other in our respective universities. My new friends learned that I was dating a pretty girl who wasn’t fashion-conscious like the other girls. But I loved her and I was so proud of her.
I thought things were going out so well between us.
Until one day, she decided to end our relationship.
It was a rainy night. We were having a dinner in a nice restaurant. Daphne was wearing a little black dress and a deep red lipstick. She only dressed up when she thought she needed to. Like, on our dates and other occasions. Her skin was glowing and the dress accentuated her shapely figure. She almost looked like one of the models in FHM I fantasized about. She looked smoking hot!
I was eating sushi. She barely touched her food. I asked her what was wrong.
“Nothing,” she said.
“Are you sure?” I asked.
“Yes,” she said. I continued eating my sushi.
“I have something to tell you.”
“I know this is going to be hard for you, as I’ve always been with you almost all your life. But there’s no easy way to say this—”
“Are you breaking up with me?”
“Why? What did I do wrong? Am I not good enough for you? Am I not making you happy?”
“You did nothing wrong. It’s just that I found someone else who makes me truly happy.”
Daphne looked down at the table. “I don’t need to tell you who it is. It would only make things worse if I told you. I’m sorry.”
Then she left the restaurant. Her plate was unfinished. I didn’t grab her hand and beg her not to leave me, simply because I didn’t want to create a scene in front of many people. I just sat there and cried silently. Like a fool. I didn’t finish my sushi.
So after the breakup, I was devastated. But I tried to hide my sadness and loneliness. Whenever I hanged out with my buddies in the bars, I drank tons of vodka until I passed out. But I managed to maintain my athletic figure by working out in the gym. I dated lots of girls, but I never took them seriously. I’ve had flings left and right. Girls wanted me to be their boyfriend, but I couldn’t imagine having a relationship with any of them. I loved Daphne so much. She’s the only person in this planet that could make me happy.
One sunny afternoon while I was walking on the street to buy some school materials in a bookstore near my house, I saw Daphne. She was with an attractive girl. They were holding each other’s hands.
So Daphne was dating a blonde and petite girl whom she called Ash. The bitch replaced me with a femme lesbian.
I tried my best to stay invisible. I tried to ignore them and pretend I didn’t see them. I even wore my shades to somehow hide my face. Or just to hide my sad eyes.
However, Daphne still saw me. She ignored me and pretended like she didn’t know me. Ash kissed Daphne’s lips. My heart sank.
As soon as the cashier gave me the stuff I bought and my change, I left the bookstore.
For several months I dated tons of girls I met online and at parties. I also slept with some of them just to get Daphne off my mind. But when I slept with those girls, I missed Daphne even more.
I missed her lovely scent.
I missed the sound of her laugh.
I missed her gentle hands and the way she touched me.
I missed her sweet smile.
I searched these lovely things in every girl I slept with. But none of them got the qualities that Daphne had. None of those girls were as enchanting as my beloved girlfriend, Daphne Reyes. I wanted no other girl but her.
Daphne was the only person I talked to when I had problems or situations made me sad. Like when my Beagle, whom I named after the famous cartoon dog Snoopy, died of old age. I was just in grade school that time. Snoopy was one of my best buddies. He was always with me when I jogged in my neighborhood every morning. He was very smart and learned tricks easily. When I was sad, he comforted me by licking my feet. I missed him so badly. Days after he died, I cried and cried silently in my bed. When I buried Snoopy in a pet cemetery, Daphne kissed and hugged me and said, “Don’t be so sad for Snoopy. He is in heaven.” Corny as it sounds but it made me feel a bit better.
But when Daphne and I broke up, I could no longer talk to her. So instead, I talked to Christian. We were in a pub drinking alcohol. He was drinking absinthe, I was drinking vodka.
“Yo, Alex!” he said.
“Yo Christian!” I said.
“How you doin?'”
“I feel great.”
“I see that.”
“So do you have a girlfriend?” he asked me.
“No,” I told him.
“Oh, come on! Chicks dig you a lot.”
“I know, but I still love Daphne.”
“Oh, bro. You should move on. No offense but she has forgotten about you. She even replaced you with a chick.” He laughed.
“Yeah, I know you’d tell me that. But the truth is I want to get her back.”
“That’s impossible, bro. She doesn’t want to be with you anymore. For Christ’s sake she has a girlfriend!” he reiterated. “And she’s very much in love with her!”
I was silent for a few minutes.
Christian changed the topic. “Listen, Alex. I haven’t told you about this yet. The reason I agreed to meet up with you tonight is because I want you to know something.”
“Yes, what is it?”
“Me and my family will be going to Japan. We will stay there for good.”
“Wow, that’s great bro!”
“So I’ll be having a despedida party (farewell party) at my house this coming Saturday night because we’ll be flying next Monday.”
“Wow, that’s so sudden!”
“Yeah, I know. Sorry for the super short notice. You know, we both have been busy for a long, long time.”
“It’s alright. I understand.”
“So I’m inviting you and Daphne to come to my party. I want all my friends to be there. Sounds okay to you?”
“Yeah, sure. I’ll text Daphne.”
Saturday night arrived. It was Christian’s despedida party in one of his houses in Bacoor, Cavite. It took me an hour and a few minutes to go there. His house was big and white, with a front yard that had flowers and trees. His Ford was parked in an open garage in front of the house. Christian opened the black gate and let me in.
The party was held in the backyard which had a guitar-shaped pool. Christian invited 10 people. All of them were our friends in high school. I spotted Kathryn and Julio. I asked them were Daphne was.
“She’ll be here in a bit. Na-traffic lang. (She was just stuck in traffic),” said Kathryn.
30 minutes later, Daphne came.
Daphne looked so beautiful that night. She was in a red dress and red heels. Her hair was down. It was long and wavy, like the waves of a beach in summer. On her neck was a silver heart necklace. She smiled at everyone, including me. Her smile was enchanting.
“Hi,” I said.
“Hello,” she said.
“Where’s your girlfriend?” Christian butted in. “Why didn’t you bring her with you?”
“She’s studying for her final exam in calculus,” she said.
“Ah,” said Christian. “Too bad she’ll miss out on all the fun.”
Christian invited all of us for dinner. Those people who were swimming in his fancy guitar-shaped pool stopped to join us. We ate pizza, spaghetti, fried chicken, lechon baboy, pancit palabok, shrimp paella, Sansrival cake and Mango Graham cake. We drank coke, Four Seasons and mango juices.
While we were dining, we talked about our wonderful and funny memories in high school, what we were up to now that we’re in college and our plans after we graduate. Most of us will be working in the office, while some will study postgraduate courses. One guy is cooler than the rest of us. His name is Joe. He is a singer in a rock band who actually has a record deal.
Later at midnight we sang over the videoke machine and drank bottles of San Mig Light and Red Horse beers. I didn’t drink much because I had to drive. Some guys played billiards in the balcony.
After the party, Daphne asked me if I could give her a ride home. Of course, I agreed to give her a ride. We said goodbye to Christian and wished him luck. “Ingat ka lagi ha. Mami-miss ka namin (Take care always. We will miss you),” I told my dear friend.
“Oo nga (Yes we will),” said Daphne.
“You can visit me there, if you have time,” said Christian.
We hugged him.
I opened the door of my car for Daphne and let her in first. Then I went inside the car.
“Daphne, is it okay if we go to my place?” I asked her. “I just want to talk to you.”
“Sure,” she replied.
We drove to my house.
We were inside my bedroom. It was pitch-dark. I turned on the light.
“What do you want to talk about?” asked Daphne.
“Nothing,” I said. “I just want to be with you tonight.”
She smiled. Her smile was brighter than my light.
“It’s been a long time since we talked,” I said.
“Yeah, it is,” she said. “Can I borrow your guitar? I want to play you a song.”
She picked up my blue guitar and played a song she wrote herself.
Her voice was ethereal. The melody of the song was sad. The words were dark.
She was ravishingly beautiful and sexy when she sang the song. In that moment I wanted to take off her dress, lay her down the bed and make love to her with all my love, passion and manly strength.
“That song is really beautiful. What’s the title?”
“It’s called ‘The Dark Side of Betrayal.’ It’s about a girl who was betrayed by her friend whom she trusted all her life. It’s called ‘The Dark Side of Betrayal’ because when someone gets betrayed, he or she blames him or herself, instead of blaming the traitor. The girl in my song hides herself in the shadows of shame and never comes out of it and forgives herself for trusting that person.
I began kissing Daphne on the lips. She kissed me back. We kissed passionately for a long time.
But then she stopped and said, “This is wrong. We shouldn’t do this.”
“No, this feels right,” I continued kissing her. But she pushed me gently.
“I have a girlfriend and I love her,” she said. I slapped her right cheek. She opened her mouth in shock.
I kissed her neck and shoulders. She kept saying “no” while I was kissing her.
Then I took off her dress, her bra and underwear. She whimpered as I took them off.
She pushed and kicked me hard. I fell from the bed.
She got out of the bed and ran at the door to open it.
I ran faster, went in front of it and blocked her. Then I closed the door.
She was about to kick me but I punched her stomach. She grunted in pain. I punched her head. She got unconscious.
She was about to fall.
I carried her and then pinned her down the bed. I kissed her breasts and licked her pink nipples. Then I let my tongue travel down her stomach, towards her cunt.
Then I opened her legs and entered her.
I indulged in her fair and slender body. I took pleasure in her feminine scent, her softness, and wetness for a long while.
Afterwards, I slept beside her. She was still unconscious.
The next morning, I woke up and she was gone.
On Monday, I went to school pretending like nothing happened. But deep down, I worried that Daphne’s parents would soon learn about what I did to her and come to my house and confront me. Or that one day the police would arrest me in my house. But that did not happen.
Two weeks later, Daphne’s mom phoned me. She was crying hard.
“What’s wrong?” I asked her. Oh no. Maybe she learned what I did to her daughter, I thought. I tried to act innocent. It was easier to do that since I was not face-to-face with her mother.
“Daphne killed herself!” She cried harder.
“I’m sorry,” I said.
A few days later, I went to Daphne’s wake and funeral in Las Pinas. Her family, friends, her attractive girlfriend, and her relatives came. They all cried hard for her. Daphne had touched their lives. She treated everyone well. She was an angel on earth.
During the funeral service, a mass was held. The priest told us about our temporary life here on earth and the eternal life that awaits us. He said that after we die, we either go to heaven or hell. God is waiting for us in heaven where we will experience eternal happiness if we are good. But if we are bad, Satan is waiting for us in hell where we will experience the fires of eternal damnation. Our purpose here on earth is to serve the Lord and do good things. If we want to enter heaven – of course all of us want to – we should always praise the Lord, keep our faith in Him, do good things to everyone, renounce Satan and avoid his temptations, and ask for forgiveness from God when we commit sins.
Then the priest said a short prayer. We bowed down our heads to pray. Later on we said our eulogies.
The priest told us to pour a bottle of holy water in her coffin. Each of us poured the bottle of holy water in her coffin. Daphne looked eerily beautiful in her death. Cliché as it sounds, she looked like an angel.
When it was my turn to pour it in her coffin, I muttered under my breath, “I’m sorry.”
For a fleeting moment, she opened her eyes. I blinked, unsure that it really happened. But her eyes remained closed. She was sleeping like a baby in her coffin.
A few minutes later we buried her six feet under. It rained hard. The sky was crying with us. The people around me opened their umbrellas and they went straight to their cars to go home or somewhere else.
I wore my black hood; my hands were in my pockets. I walked into my car and drove to my house.
I went straight to my bed and thought about what I did to Daphne.
So my best friend and the love of my life killed herself with a knife. She blamed herself after I raped her. Like the girl from her song, she blamed herself for trusting me that night. It was I who drove her to commit suicide.
A month after her death passed. Daphne made sure that I felt her presence wherever I went. When she was alive, I chased her. But now that she’s dead, she chased me instead. To be precise, she haunted me.
Usually, a draft entered my house even though the windows were closed. Sometimes windows and doors opened and closed by themselves. Lights flickered at night. My room got cold even though the air conditioner was turned off. When I looked at my reflection in the mirror, my face had blood all over it and a knife was pointed at my neck. I guess that’s what Daphne wanted to do to me if only she had the guts to do it. She wanted to kill me.
I saw her face on the walls, doors and cabinets. She frowned, cried and screamed. But I ignored her hauntings. I told myself that it’s all in the mind.
At midnights, I would hear her strumming the chords of her song “The Dark Side of Betrayal” in my guitar. She sang it quietly. Her voice was like the wind that passed swiftly. It was soft and serene. I could barely hear the words. The next moment, she sang it loudly. It was full of pain and hatred. I could hear the words clearly.
One afternoon I made love to one of my flings Ellen in my room, I saw Daphne’s face instead of Ellen’s. I screamed and pushed Ellen away from me. Daphne’s face disappeared. It was Ellen’s face again.
Startled and disgusted, Ellen said, “Freak!” Then she left me.
When I showered in my bathroom, droplets of blood came from the showerhead instead of clear water. Since then, I didn’t shower for days.
One chilly night while I was sleeping Daphne appeared in my dream. She was in a red dress and her skin was pale. She was hanging in the air.
“Hi, Alex,” she greeted me.
“Daphne,” I said curtly. Then I asked her, “Why do you keep scaring the shit out of me?”
She laughed a mirthless laugh.
“Have you forgotten what you did to me in this room?” she said. Her face was distorted in anger.
“Sorry is not enough! How could you do that to me? You were my best friend!”
I didn’t reply.
“What you did to me was cruel and abominable. I suffered in hell because of what you did. That’s the reason why I haunt you. I want to make your life a living hell!”
“What is it that you want me to do so you will stop haunting me? So you’ll be at peace? I’ll do anything you asked me to.”
“Confess to the police about your crime against me. That’s the only way I’ll forgive you and end your suffering.”
Then she was gone. I woke up.
The morning after, I went to the police station of my city and told the police that I raped Daphne Reyes, my beloved best friend and the love of my life. I did it because I loved her madly, passionately and dangerously to the point of committing a detestable crime against her. I betrayed my best friend. And she killed herself because of it.
At first I thought the police officers would arrest me and send me to jail right away. But of course, they investigated the matter and searched for evidence. When the police gained knowledge that would lead a reasonable person to believe that I committed rape against Daphne, they arrested me and sent me to jail.
As of this writing, I am in jail. I had nothing to do here, so I wrote this story. It’s a true story. Although some of you would think that I’m crazy for believing that Daphne really haunted me. You’re probably thinking that I just imagined it or that I made this up. But to be honest, I don’t care what you think.
Now I’m waiting for my hearing, which has been set next week. In this country, justice is slow. The judge has to decide my case yet.
But at least I did my part. Daphne will get the justice she greatly deserves.
Finally, her soul will rest in peace.
Manila, February 21, 2010